Introduction to Aunt Flo

"For perhaps the first time in your active, tom-boy life, you must accept the fact that you are a girl. ... You're a girl and you are getting ready for the special role of childbearing. ... You may think you were intended to be a Hollywood star, or a scientist, or a great writer. But your body ignores all this ... When you know the happiness of childbirth - you will be acting the role you were created for." -- On Becoming A Woman (1958)

Yes, that's 1958, folks. Women can't be scientists or writers in Eisenhower's America. Gotta get with the procreation.

I'm reading Stein and Kim's FLOW: The Cultural Story of Menstruation and so far it has made me really, really angry. I want to go back in time and bitch-slap the two women who wrote On Becoming A Woman (yes, women authors) for trying to make a generation of girls feel they were the sum of their genital parts.

But as a militant feminist I suppose I should cut the authors some slack as brain-washed puppets of the oppressive male hierarchy. Reminds me of The Handmaid's Tale where the wife enjoyed the power she had while getting her husband installed as leader, only to realize afterward that their ultra-conservative views restricting women included her too.

Here's another thing that sent the anger meter spinning: the adverts for "feminine hygiene" douches. Want to know one of the products advertising its ability to provide women with "appealing daintiness"?

Lysol.

Yes, really. Lysol. As recent as the 1950s. "For complete Feminine Hygiene rely on Lysol. A Concentrated Germ Killer."

Scrub out the toilet and your vaginal canal! So economical!

There was also Zonite - "For newer feminine hygiene". Wanna know what Zonite was? Tough, I'm going to tell you anyway.

Bleach.

Apparently internal scalding was fine with the FDA, as long as not too many women die.

I tell you, I'm going to hit someone before this book is finished.

Peace, Joy and Pug Love

In the spirit of the season, I offer you this -

PUG SCREEN CLEANER (click here)

May we all have plenty of peace, joy, and pug spit.

John Barrowman News!!!

Spread of Technology

So, I've been seriously restricted in my access to the interwebz this week (a source of much chagrin and many conniption fits, lemme tell ya), and I started to wonder how humanity ever survived without being able to tweet about cat antics or lint or the contents of one's coffee to the world.

And then I was reminded of all those classic sci-fi episodes of Doctor Who and Blake's Seven and Star Trek where the Highly Advanced Technologically Dependent Civilization were all just a bunch of big heads because their reliance on technology had caused their unused bodies to wither away.

Remember those?

And then it occurred to me that those episodes were obviously written by active young men who did not actually ever sit around all day in front of a computer.

Because any woman will tell you, letting technology do the walking does NOT encourage bodily withering.

In fact, sitting in front of a computer all day encourages the body to cushion-up the whole seat area, so the sitting experience is more comfortable. So those aliens really should have been massively pear-shaped.

Do I have a point? Am I saying that my days away from the computer, days spent actually locomotivating my body around the house have been a wonderful break and shown me the value of incorporating an exercise regimen into my life?

No.

I'm saying, having to go to the library rather than having the library come to me over the web is Big Time Annoying.

And coming up with activities that allow me to Avoid Actual Work is way harder without access to LOLcats and Twitter and Facebook.

Which reminds me, I really must get to Farmville - my crops could be withering.

What? No, I don't want to go outside and dig in the dirt, I want to harvest my crops. Yes, I know they're pixels. But they're withering, I tell you!

Ah, very funny. I heard you say, "At least something's withering." Shut up and send me a sheep.

Pugs Are Everywhere

One of the points I make in my book PugSpotting is that pug owners like to involve pugs in everything they do.

If you can put a pug in it, pug owners are there and have done it.

Random insertions of pugs in books and artwork? Check.

Pugs on utensils, inkwells, match holders, cigarette cases, and finials? Check.

Pug-shaped teapots, pounce pots, and salt-and-pepper shakers? Check.

If you can take your pug with you, pug owners have done that, too. And not just out for a walk or to a restaurant.

Pugs exploring the Old West? Check.

Pugs circumnavigating the globe? Check.

Pugs going to staff an embassy in Afghanistan. Check.

Yes, you read that correctly.

In 1879, Maj. Sir Pierre Louis Napoleon Cavagnari, K.C.B. C.I.E., Bengal Staff Corps, brought his pug with him to staff the Kabul Embassy.

Since this was during the 3rd Afghan War, you might perhaps think this was not the most secure place to take a pug. And you would be right. The Kabul Mission was massacred down to the last man - and there had been about 100 of them.

The sole survivor of the massacre was Cavagnari's pug.

The British would re-enter Kabul, of course, and the resourceful little pug was rescued and sent home to Lady Cavagnari. Amazing, right? True story.

This holiday season, I wish you all the luck of Cavagnari's pug. :)