The Unexpected Evil of Obesity

If you follow me on Twitter, you might have noticed it took FOUR MONTHS for my sick cat to be correctly diagnosed.

Four. Horrible. Months.

When I first noticed something amiss, I took my cat to the vet and told them he was losing weight very quickly. They weighed him and confirmed he'd basically dropped almost a pound a week from his last visit.

They said as he had been overweight it was good he was losing so much.

I pointed out that this was a dramatic reduction and I hadn't changed anything with regard to his food and exercise.

They said not to worry. Losing weight is a Good Thing.

And set us home.

And, to my shame, I bought into that because, as a fat person myself, I'm constantly being told I should lose weight. Losing weight when you're fat is Always Good. It's the only thing for which society will consistently congratulate a fat person.

Meanwhile, my cat kept losing weight. His hip bones became prominent. So did his spine. (Turns out he was losing muscle mass at this point.)

I took him back to the vet and told them I knew this was Not Right. Have you seen Monty Python's Dead Parrot sketch? Looking back on it, this visit sounds similar.

Me:  This is not a healthy cat.

Them:  Sure it is. Lovely cat, the Norwegian Blue. Beautiful plumage.

Me:  NO. THIS IS NOT A HEALTHY CAT.

So they took an x-ray. And referred me to an animal heart specialist.

We went to the animal heart specialist and she took another x-ray. She diagnosed my cat with very mild heart disease.

The end.

My original vet was done. No follow up appointments needed.

Nothing.

And yet, even I knew very mild heart disease did not answer the question of why my cat was losing weight. Why he was now vomiting and having diarrhea and ate very little.

I contacted my old vet (3,000 miles away or I'd have gone to her first). She asked if they'd checked the condition of his stomach. (Answer: No.)  She asked if my cat had been given an ultrasound. (Again: No. Such an option had never even been mentioned.)

In that moment, I realized my current vet sucked.

So I found a new vet. And just for good measure, when we got in, I demanded an ultrasound. Luckily, he was thinking ultrasound anyway.

He diagnosed my cat as having a thyroid problem.

And arthritis.

And he thought he saw something during the ultrasound, so we were referred again, to an Animal Internist.

This time, the specialist doctor ran an endoscopy and discovered a mass in my cat's stomach. He took a biopsy and we were informed that my cat had large cell gastric lymphoma. And we were referred to the animal cancer center.

Finally.

After. Four. Months.

I have to wonder what the situation for my cat might have been had he been diagnosed with cancer in AUGUST as opposed to DECEMBER.

I also have to wonder if part of the original vet's incompetence had to do with the popular demonization of fat.

He'd been fat and he was losing weight? That's automatically A Good Thing.

You're losing weight incredibly fast? Why question your good luck? Don't look behind the curtain!

Had he been a thin cat, would they have looked harder for the reason behind his weight being in a tailspin?

And could such a thing could happen to a person?

Are fat patients shamed because fat is automatically unhealthy?

Do doctors write off symptoms as being due to weight without looking for any more dangerous cause?

A quick internet search revealed something quite unsettling---doctors desiring to deny any health care whatsoever to fat patients:

In Britain in 2012, a survey found 54% of doctors thought they should be able to deny treatment to the obese. 

Also in 2012, a Massachusetts woman was denied health care because of her weight. She's about my size. Obese but active. The female doctor said her office was unable to accommodate that weight.

Like there'd be a structural collapse? WTF?!

You want something more recent? February 2015 in the UK - David Cameron proposes to strip obese people of their benefits.

Fat-shaming is one of the few prejudices it's widely acceptable to practice.

It's so prevalent, we fat people---consciously or unconsciously---shame ourselves. We accept there's something wrong with us just because we're overweight. We accept that our body shape is open to being mocked, and that it's our fault, not the bigoted mockers.

So stop it.

Right now.

Realize that there are other people out there just like you and that you're all beautiful.

There are awesome companies out there, like Hips and Curves and Chubby Cartwheels and Pyramid,  that specialize in beautiful plus-size clothing.

And learn from my experience - be assertive in your pursuit of health.

Know your rights. Fight for yourself.

If you think your doctor might suck, get a second opinion.

If you know/feel something is Wrong and you're not being listened to, get a second opinion.

Not all vets/doctors are equal.

And, at least in the US, remember - YOU are paying THEM. (Quite a lot, actually.)
They're not doing you a favor by seeing you. They're your employee. If their work is not up to scratch, fire them and move on.

Never let an asshole be in charge of the health of you or your loved ones.
In that context, assholes can kill.


*PS - Like the lady with the teacups? It's a stamp on Etsy!

The Cat Who Lived

My cat has cancer.

Large cell stomach cancer. Had it been small cell, he'd have a good chance of recovery, they said. But this is large cell.

Stop talking about What You Could Have Done If It Were Different and TELL ME WHAT TO DO WITH THE REALITY I HAVE, I thought.

This was the beginning of December. They said I could start him on chemotherapy, but it would be more a Quality of Life thing than a fix. Especially as he also has a thyroid problem. And arthritis. They hinted I might consider euthanasia. They said he would be dead by the end of January.

My cat is still alive.

Through the first couple chemo doses, I stayed up with him all night. Making sure he had fluids. Making sure he ate a little every few hours. Making sure he kept the food down and giving anti-nausea pills if he could not.

He has a cream for his thyroid and I give him shots for his arthritis, and vitamin B12 shots as well.

He tolerates this as well as can be expected. Some days he's more annoyed than others. But he's still plugging away. His brain is still sharp as ever.

You have to understand, he was my first cat. I found him at a shelter. He'd had bad experiences with humans so it took some time for him to trust me. Since my previous pet experience was my family's pug (a very cat-like dog), I inadvertently approached him as such. I taught him words.

This cat has as large a command vocabulary as my pug had. At feeding time, I'd tell him to go sit and he'd go to the kitchen and hit the specific mark where he's supposed to sit. If he's not precisely on the mark, I can repeat the command and he will scoot over the inch or two to be precisely on his mark.

He knows how to heel without a leash when we go on walks. I can allow him to get ahead of me to explore and then call him back and he'll come. He'll complain at me ("Meow, meow, meow!"), but he'll come.

He also likes to play games on tablets and phones. But only if he can win. He doesn't like games that go on forever, he wants a Decisive Victory. It's pretty funny.

The vet techs at the cancer center are constantly amazed by him, his good nature, his chill personality. We go in without a carrier and hang out. He purrs.

Now we are approaching the end of his chemo. He gets an ultrasound next Monday. I am hoping for Full Remission. If it's not gone, he'll have to undergo a second round of chemotherapy treatments.

And yes, I've already decided that's what we're doing. If we have to, we're going down fighting.

I was told by one disapproving person that they would have euthanized the cat at the beginning rather than spend the money on chemo. So I knifed them.

No I didn't.

Bloodstains are sooo difficult to get out.

But they are correct, it is expensive. So.... if you've been on the fence about purchasing my writing, or ever even vaguely considered maybe buying one of my books, I would encourage you that now would be the time to do so. You could think of it as a donation, with the book as your free gift. Most of my ebooks are the same price as one cup of coffee. You'd buy me a coffee, right?

In any case, please keep us in your thoughts.

SusanneSaville.com/Books

Of Cats And Veterinary Health Care Costs

As some of you may know, my cat is sick. He has a cardiologist appointment tomorrow.

You know how there's always people who, when you say, "I'm having my tonsils out." they say, "I know someone who died from that." instead of "good luck" or "I'll be thinking of you"? Like you needed that in your head at this moment?

Apparently there are also people who want to tell you why your money is more important than your pet when your pet is sick.

The Disposable Society. Why get shoes repaired? Just buy new ones. Why fix your sick pet? Just get a new one.

ProTip: Don't ever say that to someone who considers their pets their children. Unless you'd also advocate disposing of sick children. Then you might be a Fascist.

Someone told my husband about how a vet told someone else that her cat only had two months to live and instead of euthanizing her cat, she spent $4,000 to keep her cat alive those two months and how horrible that vet was for milking her out of money.

There's so much wrong with that story. Give me a moment to stop pounding my forehead on my desk.

Okay.

First off, the vet gave her the options. The vet didn't "milk" her out of anything.

In fact, had the vet refused to provide health care and demanded euthanization, THAT would have been a crime against their profession to heal the sick.

Second. Now that we've established that the woman chose to spend her money, we can unpack from this story that the teller thinks the "loss" of the money was A Bad Thing.

Why? The woman had the money. She wanted to spend it on having more time with her cat. What's wrong with that?

For this to be A Bad Thing, presupposes a cat's life can be reckoned in dollars and that this amount is less than $4,000.

I'll get back to this.

Third. The teller frames this story around the cat owner being a victim. If not a victim of the vet, a victim of stupidity by spending so much money on just a cat.

Because people who value animals so much are crazy, tree-hugging leftists or something and ought not to be let outside without supervision.

Right.

Now then.

If you want to tell me why I should not bother taking my cat to the cardiologist, I want to tell you about this Abrahamic concept called Hell and how speedily you can go there. I hear hand-baskets are quite popular.

I believe my cat is priceless.  I believe this very strongly.

Polite people who value not being beaten to death with the bloody stump of one of their own limbs won't tell me I'm wrong to my face.

Green pieces of paper, even 4,000 of them, will never keep me warm the way my cat does when I've had a bad day and he comes to comfort me.

Being willing to eat macaroni and cheese for weeks on end so my cat can get proper medical care does not make me crazy. I did that to be able to get a college degree. I'll certainly do it for the animal who listens to me moan about how an Arts college degree qualifies you to bag fries these days.

I personally can imagine no greater guilt than being forced to euthanize your pet because you don't have the money to fix them. I really, really, really hope I do not have to face this situation, because I don't know what I'd do. I just can't.

By the way, there's probably a clever parallel to be made here with the human US health care industry, but I'm not in the mood to make it.

CosPlay Is Killing Creators

So today I was reading this article where the wife of a Star Wars artist blames cosplayers for comic creators not making money at conventions.

I must say my first thought was, "Who goes to San Diego Comic-Con for comics?"

Which is obviously sad in a way, since it originally was a COMIC convention.

Today it's more about television and movies and star appearances. And possibly video games. That's the audience desperately struggling to get the limited amount of tickets available and then sleeping in line overnight to see Benedict Cumberbatch. They're not giving up their place in line to see comic creators they could see elsewhere more easily - and rightfully so!

But apparently it is a Known Fact that comic creators are losing money going to conventions these days.

Why?

She thinks it's because of cosplayers:

"I’ve seen it first-hand–the uber-famous artist who traveled all of the way from Japan, sitting at Comic-Con, drawing as no one even paid attention to him, while the cosplayers held up floor traffic and fans surround the cosplayers–rather than the famed industry household name–to pose for selfies."

Okay.

I "cosplayed" before there was a name for it. Back in my day, we called it DRESSING UP FOR THE CONVENTION.
*what kind of stupid cutesy name is cosplay, anyway?* *grumble, grumble*

I was asked for pictures back when you had to bring a camera.

In my handmade Doctor Who (Fem)Brigadier outfit, I was once even asked for my autograph by a little boy.

HOWEVER.

I think cosplay can be *perceived* as more of a diversion from creators these days because:

1) More people cosplay. Now that there's a word for it, it's a THING TO DO. And with the Internet, you can find people to make your costume for you. It doesn't have to be a time consuming, searching for just the right materials, frustrating, labor of love.

Also EVERYONE has a camera phone, so:

2) More people ask for pictures.

And with the Internet, even more people WANT photos.

Used to be you took a picture because you liked the costume. Film had a limited number of pictures possible on each roll, so you had to pick and choose. These were for your personal collection. You couldn't share it with anyone but your local friends.

3) Digital photos are free and endless. The Internet encourages uploading. More pictures happen.

Now people can want pictures for themselves. Or pictures to post on social forums. Or they can be trolls who want to post a photo and anonymously make fun of the cosplayer.

Sidenote: Nobody trolled like that back in the day, because you had to PAY for film, for developing, and you could only show your local friends, like I said, and they'd probably think you were mean and judge you so...why bother?

The author did try to correct her statement by saying she meant not the costume-wearers themselves, but the social element that has built up around them. That conventions are about seeing and being seen, not buying stuff from creators. There has been a shift from "commerce-driven" to "social gathering-driven."

4) Conventions have ALWAYS been social functions. Remember filking?

In fact, I'd say conventions were MORE social gathering-driven before "geek" became mainstream, before the Internet let us know there were others of us out there. We might be social misfits in our schools, but at conventions we were AMONG OUR PEOPLE.

So.

Why are comic creators losing money on conventions when everyone knows the Dealer's Room is the heart of any convention? I mean, we LOVE to buy cool stuff.

Okay, first off, let me say I am probably TOTALLY WRONG. But:

1) Know your venue.

I don't think SDCC and Wizard World conventions really cater to the comic buying crowd.

I would go to those for the film and television celebrities. I see them. I "know" them.

I don't know most comic book creators.

Which brings us to my second point.

2) You can buy practically everything cheaper online these days.

For me to seek out a person at a convention to get their signature or an original drawing, I have to value that interaction, that connection. My brain has to make the leap between - "I really loved that story" to "I really like this creator."

And that which will drive people to make that leap is what we all strive to discover. I'm an author. I go to conventions. I'd like to know the magic secret too.

I can only say that in my own experience:

1) I adore the Captain America movies. I have never read a Captain America comic.  I went to all the X-men movies. Never read their comics either. Remember that Witchblade television show? I watched that. Never read the comics.

Comic creators should probably ignore me.

However, if you're looking to attract new readers, I'm probably the demographic you're up against. At least we know the comics exist.

That said, there is one comic creator I would attend a convention for:   Brad Abraham.

This is because I "know" him.

I "met" him on Twitter. I like him. I like his work. I already have autographed copies. But I would attend New York Comic-Con to visit his creator table. And I live in New Mexico.

So.

With the mainstreaming of "geek" culture, no one can assume they're a "household name" anymore. (Sad, but true.) You have to reach out to the newly geekyized and let them know who you are, what you create, why you're worth interacting with.

But NOT in a 24-hour-every-tweet/post-is-an-advert way. That'll get you unfollowed real quick.

Okay.

That's my two cents on a subject nobody asked my opinion about in the first place. :)

These are a few of my favorite things...

Jason Spisak

property of EniJoi on dA

I already posted this epiphany on tumblr. But why not here too, right?

I just noticed that many of the drawings of Tom Hiddleston's Loki that I like best, such as the one above, bear a striking resemblance to Jason Spisak, the voice and inspiration for the face of Vulpes Inculta in Fallout: New Vegas -- who is another character I really like.

I think I have just identified my “type.”

Me = Shallow but Consistent 


So. Do you readers have a "type" you prefer?  It's not always easy to recognize in yourself. My sister used to say she loved brunettes, but every single fan-girl crush she had was on a blonde fellow.

Share, my pretties! ;)

Vulpes and Arcade Plushies

Look what The Last Kiss Of Damaris made for me!!! Are these not the cutest Fallout: New Vegas plushies ever? Arcade's expression is just so him. And I wanted an uncharacteristically-happy Vulpes Inculta, and there we are.

Excuse me while I go Kermit-flail.

That Flu Virus Going Around

So who has been sick recently? Anyone? (Bueller?)

I recently caught whatever it is going around and it is TERRIBLE. Truly. It's on the biologically-engineered-and-weaponized-will-brutally-melee-you-to-the-floor level of terrible.

Started coming down with it at the RT BookLovers' Convention in Chicago, so I had the hotel provide me with chicken soup:

Yes, those are matzo balls in the soup!

Delicious!

My friends Sahara Kelly and Amanda McIntyre swear by stingers as an aide to flu recovery, so I tried that, too:

Not sure if they followed my directions or not. It's supposed to be 3 parts White Creme de Menthe to 1 part... brandy? Now I've forgotten. (The flu virus ate that part of my brain!)

How do you folks combat the flu/flu season?

Bag of Holding... Cats

I received many compliments on my Bag of Holding from ThinkGeek at WonderCon. This I kinda expected. It's stylish, strong, and able to carry everything I need - and then some.

What I did not expect is every time I put the bag down, a cat claims it.

This messenger bag is the perfect Jumbo-Kitty size, and soft, so clearly it was made to be a cat bed. End of discussion, as far as felines are concerned. You want it back? Don't make me claw you.

Litter Shark Saga Continues

I have blogged about the Litter Shark before. My tomcat was suspicious of the litter box for days. He'd sit in the bathroom next to it and watch for it - hours at a time! The box only activates 20 minutes after a cat has used it, so... yeah. Lots of watching with no results.

Eventually he decided the Little Shark was unlikely to attack while he was using the litter, and all was well. He used the box like the other cats.

After a while, the metal mechanism started to squeak when it activated, and I noticed when he heard the sound, my tomcat would hustle into the bathroom to watch it run. He'd sit right up close to the side of the box and alertly follow the track of the scoop across and back, like a really slow tennis match. It's adorable.

Well. Yesterday the squeak sounded and I saw him trot off. From where I was, I could see into the bathroom, and even though the light was off, there was enough daylight to see inside the room. But as far as my tomcat knew, he was alone and unobserved.

He watched the mechanism go across, and on its return trip--just before it retreated into its housing--HE POUNCED IT! 

Yes, he did a sudden, mouse-hunting, up-and-over dive and pounced on the scoop. 

He stayed in "caught" position for a while, but I don't know if he actually caught it. I do know that after he got back out, he came sauntering out of the bathroom, calling his territory challenge "merrrow...merrrrow" that he only does when he's feeling particularly Alpha Male and pleased with himself.

Cats - Coup by Cuteness

The more adorable photos of cats I see on ICanHasCheezeburger, the more I am convinced cats are the step above humans on the Karma scale. If humans are good and deserving, they come back as cats.

That would explain why kitties like to eat human food, sleep like humans, and somehow know the best way to disable your laptop with the fewest keystrokes.

I swear, I leave my laptop open, I come back and all sorts of things have been opened, new files created, etc. At some point, my cats are going to figure out how to order themselves things from Amazon. Or find a bored Department of Defense war computer. Cue, "Do you want to play a game?" coming from the laptop speakers while I'm in the other room, and me freaking out.

Zaftig is Sexy Too

Here I am, in my long underwear because winter is chilly, waiting for my coffee to awaken me of a morning.

Well, no, obviously this isn't really me. It's Hilda, the recurring character drawn by artist Duane Bryers.

I found these images on tumblr but I'm pretty certain they came from HERE and I recommend you check that website out.

What I particularly like about Hilda is the fact that she is plump and yet presented as a pinup girl.

Maybe it's only me, being as I'm fat errr I mean zaftig myself, but I think this image is sexy. Wish there was more art of plump women in popular culture today.  What do y'all think?

Kitty Eyes Are Watching You

Kitty eyes  are watching you  they see your ev-'ry move...

- to the tune of Hall & Oates' Private Eyes. 

What is it about cats and drawers?  You guys have cats that like to nestle in drawers, too, right?

Bored at the Library? Don't Ruin the Floors

Yes, do please go home and masturbate if you are bored. Or over-excited by the University of St. Andrews Library collection.

I love how they add to enquire at the Library Help Desk if you have any questions. Being a librarian myself, I can imagine the Help Desk actually being prepared for such enquiries - having a binder of Places Where It Is Acceptable To Masturbate and Masturbation Etiquette and so forth.

And, of course, now I'm wondering if this is a SECRET, UNRECOGNIZED PROBLEM at American universities. Is this why tuition fees are going up? Professional cleaning for the excessive amount of semen stain on university library floors?

Urban Dictionary Definition of Susanne

Whoever wrote this, you clearly have perfectly correct insight into the Susannes of the world and, on our behalf, I would like to offer you a bouquet of virtual cupcakes.

I love Shaun Dingwall

Shaun Dingwall.

This man:

Is following me. OMG

I am preserving this brief, shining moment, because I'm certain he will unfollow soon - 

once he realizes how utterly boring I really am. 

That's a new type of anxiety, isn't it? Someone you like and respect follows you on Twitter or Tumblr and immediately you worry that whatever you post is unworthy and will result in unfollows. 

Does that happen to you guys?

More Gobeur Arcade/Vulpes

I just love these two together (obviously).  :)   Gobeur clearly has a window into my brain....

I should start wearing my tinfoil hat more often!

All About Me or Coffee Questions

A friend on Tumblr asked me to share my coffee opinions (being the coffee minx that I am), and I thought y'all might be interested, too. So. Let's talk coffee:

Favorite roast: I’m a breakfast roast (light/medium) gal.

Favorite at-home brewing method: KEURIG keurig keurig keurig (this should be said like “GARY”* - one word to rule them all). I used to have an industrial one but since then I’ve had to make due with the home versions and I wear them out in 1 year. On my third machine now. You might think this means I drink too much coffee. You would, of course, be wrong. ;)

Coffee partners: Cream and sugar. Always take my coffee with cream -if I can get it, otherwise milk - and sugar. When I was dieting (bwahahahaha) I tried sugar-substitutes but they make the coffee taste funny.

What Fancy-schmancy Espresso Drink Would You Be?: Hmmm…. Latte Macchiato with caramel or cinnamon. Hot, sweet, and frothy. :)  Or a Mochaccino with a strong chocolate-y flavor, as that is the best mochaccino to be. 

Favorite store coffee: Dunkin Donuts. And not just because I can give you directions to my house from three different Dunkins in my neighborhood. Dunkin Donuts. They’re EVERYWHERE.

So - what would YOUR answers to these questions be?

*It's a Fallout thing. Sorry. Into almost every post a little Fallout must...fall. 

Litter Shark Alert

I bought an automatic-cleaning litter box the other day. The cats loved it.

Then one of them happened to catch sight of it doing its auto-clean. He has refused to use it since.

I closed him in the bathroom (where the litter box is) with me to show him it was harmless....

Cat:  “I saw it move. I saw that thing rise up and open it’s maw like a shark.”

Me:  “Okay, no more you watching tv with me. It’s giving you wrong ideas. There are no litter sharks.”

Cat:  “I know what I saw.”

Me: (picks up litter scoop, runs it across pan)  “Look. See? Nothing happens.”

Cat:  “Just wait. It won’t STAY dormant if you keep POKING IT WITH A STICK.”

Me:  “Honestly. It’s on a timer. It will never touch you.”

Cat:  “See how my nose is pressed to the crack between the door and jamb? That means I want OUT.”

Me:  “But it’s perfectly safe.”

Cat:  “Yeah, right. You’re gonna need a bigger boat.”

Skylarking Uteri

This snippet is from a late Victorian medical book written by a (male) doctor.

I just love the line:

"... I am afraid the poor little uterus would be constantly skylarking from one part of the pelvis to the other."

My first thought upon reading this was that Aristotle's theory of hysteria certainly took a looonng time to die. (This was the theory that a roaming uterus was what caused women to become over-emotional (hysterical). Thus by definition only women could be hysterical. Men had no uteri to make them behave so emotionally.)

My second thought was, no wonder so many women died in childbirth, if that was the state of their gynecological knowledge.

Although, it would make for a great call-in-sick excuse:
"I'm sorry, I can't come in to work today. My uterus has gone skylarking."

Fallout New Vegas Fan Art

Okay, so y'all know I'm a big Fallout New Vegas fangirl, right?
For the uninitiated, it's this game here:















I write derpy little fanfictions about it. (And by fanfic I mean fluff and pr0n.)

Ahem.  Moving on....

Some absolutely fantastically talented artists have honored my non-canonical little 'verse and the pair I ship with some radically awesome pieces of art.

You cannot imagine how touched and humbled I felt when I first saw these. Most of them are on dA here. But as a few aren't, I thought I'd post them here so everyone could see them and pet them and bask in the light from their general awesomeness.

First let's get you acquainted with the pair I ship. The above masterpiece is by GOBEUR

This next one is by GOBEUR as well.

Vulpes doesn't actually have a tail, of course. But isn't it adorable? :)

These next ones are on deviantArt:

Vulpes in Vegas by ~MissLadyVenom on deviantART

A Scarred Frumentarii by ~MissLadyVenom on deviantART

Fallout NV - I cannot hate you by *lilibombe on deviantART

weight of the world. by *DrowVisionary on deviantART

Aren't they wonderful?  If you're on dA, you should watch these folks. They are total awesomesauce with a side of brilliance.