Bored at the Library? Don't Ruin the Floors

Yes, do please go home and masturbate if you are bored. Or over-excited by the University of St. Andrews Library collection.

I love how they add to enquire at the Library Help Desk if you have any questions. Being a librarian myself, I can imagine the Help Desk actually being prepared for such enquiries - having a binder of Places Where It Is Acceptable To Masturbate and Masturbation Etiquette and so forth.

And, of course, now I'm wondering if this is a SECRET, UNRECOGNIZED PROBLEM at American universities. Is this why tuition fees are going up? Professional cleaning for the excessive amount of semen stain on university library floors?