Showing posts with label LOL. Show all posts
Showing posts with label LOL. Show all posts

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Wuthering About HeathKitty

funny pictures of cats with captionsI saw a new-to-me version of Wuthering Heights on Netflix last night and now I'm wondering if I should watch it or not.

You see, I don't like Wuthering Heights.
Love Jane Eyre.
Really don't like Wuthering Heights. Yes, I get that Heathcliff is a classic romantic doomed hero.

But Cathy married another man!

So, instead of being HeathKitty, he should have moved on. Why did he even like her to begin with? She was mean to him, selfish and annoying.

And she married another man!

How's that going to work in the afterlife? Remember, there's that thing about how Cathy and Heathcliff are ghosts together at the end--but what's-his-name is going to be there, too, right? I mean, they're buried all in a row. Are they going to have a threesome?

But I've seen several of the other adaptations - including the Timothy Dalton (yum!) version, so I should probably watch this other one just to complete the set.

What do y'all think? Are there some Wuthering Heights fans out there who disagree with my assessment?

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Current Security Levels


I received this as one of those forwarded-forwarded-forwarded emails from a friend.  If you know who wrote it, please name them in the comments section so I can give them credit.  

Current security levels:

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved."  Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross."  The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the Blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorised from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance."  The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.

The Scots raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards" They don't have any other levels.  This is the reason they have been used on the front line in the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide".  The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender."  The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's military capability.  It's not only the French who are on a heightened level of alert.

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose".

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy.  These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Americans meanwhile are carrying out pre-emptive strikes on all of their allies, just in case.

New Zealand has also raised its security levels - from "baaa" to "BAAAA!".  Due to continuing defence cutbacks (the air force being a squadron of spotty teenagers flying paper aeroplanes and the navy some toy boats in the Prime Minister's bath), New Zealand only has one more level of escalation, which is "Shit, I hope Australia will come and rescue us".

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be alright, mate". Three more escalation levels remain, "Crikey!', "I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend" and "The barbie is cancelled".  So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.