Historical Cat and Dog Cuddling

I love the stuff one can find when researching in old newspapers. I also love that humans have been fascinated by cats and dogs cuddling for centuries. This would have been on I Can Has Cheezburger if it took place today.

Advice for Beginning Writers Part 2

So now you know how you're going to write. You've got your pen or your keyboard. What now?

Most Craft-Of-Writing books are full of useless advice.

Don't put in excess information (info dump). Yeah, obviously. But if you're a beginner, how do you recognize what's excess and what's not?

Don't begin with a description of the weather.  Okay, that's only because of Bulwer Lytton's "It was a dark and stormy night" and that is only considered bad writing these days because it GOES ON

That's all one sentence.

Weather is not the problem. If the weather is intrinsic to your opening, begin with it. You can make it work.

There are many synonyms for the word 'said'.  Yes. Yes there are. Don't use them. Really.

When one is reading, 'said' tends to disappear, unless you tack it on every single line. Words like 'responded', 'announced', 'remarked', 'verbalized' - the eye will begin to catch them, and then the reader will start noting how extensive your thesaurus is and not paying attention to the dialogue. So save those synonyms for when portraying how a sentence is muttered, recited, or declared really matters.

So.
Where would I say to go for craft advice?

If you're like me, if you go looking for a book on how to grind coffee, you want a step by step description of how coffee is ground. Practical advice. Not a description of how great coffee is and where it comes from and the history of coffee grinders.

I don't actually know if grinding coffee is that involved. I use a Keurig.

Anyhow. The point is, if you're looking for an actual How To book that describes the nuts & bolts of building a story, then I recommend without hesitation Plot & Structure by James Scott Bell.

If you have an idea for a book, this will get you going on how to set it up and write it.

Advice for Beginning Writers Part 1

I was asked a very long time ago to post some advice about writing for beginning authors.

This is more difficult than it sounds.

Writing is... Okay, I'm not going to say it's a mystical experience that can't be pinned down, or that it's something one does and cannot be taught. But it is difficult to describe.

If you're cooking, the implements involved are standardized: measuring cups, a specified size of baking pan, etc. Writing is all in the brain, and everyone's brain is different.

For example, say I give you an egg and say, "Open this." You might opt for the edge of a bowl, a hammer, or a Rube Goldberg machine (Heath Robinson, if you're in the UK) which involves several dominoes, a whisk, and a cat. All would be equally correct in writing. It's your creation. You do what you want.

So much freedom can leave you paralyzed, wondering what to do first. I can help with that.

First, decide how you want to write.

Back in the day, this wasn't a problem. Paper and quill. That's it. Even with the invention of typewriters, it was still generally found to be easier to write out one's story with pen and paper, then just type the final draft.

Computers changed that.

Yes, it is easier to type and format on a computer. You can also get so caught up in the minutiae of word processing that you edit and re-edit the same damn paragraph instead of going on to the next chapter. Or you can stare at the white abyss of blank page while the horror of nothingness stares back at you. So then you go surf the web, tweet some folks, and check your email five times.

So my first bit of advice is:  Decide if you are a pen-and-paper creator or a computer creator. Which technique will make you more productive? Because that's what it's all about, producing the words. What separates authors from wannabes is actually finishing the book.

Anecdote of a Cat - Edinburgh - 1821

Kitty to the rescue.

Which profession drinks the most coffee?